Remember Guys,Bros Before HosBros Before Hos
by AClassicExampleOfAnOnlyChild
Summary: Draco Malfoy...the main reason we all facepalm ourselves...-collection of short oneshots-
1. Chapter 1

Patting his slicked do, Draco Malfoy checked himself out in the mirror. Yep...He looked good...scratch that...he...was the epitome of sexiness!

Winking at himself, he walked out of his room and slapped his forehead (gently of course... he didn't want an angry red mark on his handsome face!) when he saw his house mates Blaise, Ginny, Harry , Ron, Luna, Pansy and Hermione sitting in their living room.

The group diverted their attention from the muggle movie that was showing on the flat screen HD television to him.

"Well, you're dressed up early Malfoy" Harry commented "Our monthly karaoke night doesn't start in around 7 hours"

Draco slapped his forehead _gently _once more as he remembered his promise to his friends.

He gave the seven of them a sheepish smile.

"Oh...Merlin...about that" he cleared his throat as he tried to explain "I was about to leave to ask this special girl out on a date".

Blaise whistled while Ginny commented "What's this Draco? Ditching your friends for a _girl?_"

"Who's this special girl" Pansy asked with her perfectly plucked eyebrows raised. The dark haired girl saw a look of jealousy on flicker on Hermione's face for a second before the brunette gave her Slytherin friend a smile.

"What happened to bros before hos ferret?" Ron asked, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"Yeah Draco," Hermione piped in "What happened to bros before hos?"

Draco shot her an incredulous look "Hermione, don't call yourself a ho!"

_**a/n-just a short drabble that came into my mind when my friends asked me the same thing...only instead of 'bros before hos' ,they said 'chicks before dicks' xD haha... review if you understand the last part...and review if you don't :P**_


	2. Chapter 2

Still clad in the robes she wore to work earlier that day, Hermione walked up and down the house as she mentally made notes to make sure that _everything _was perfect for dinner that night.  
>Because it wasn't just <em>any <em>normal dinner where she and her husband would bicker playfully at the table while they ate their chinese take away (the two of them were too busy with their jobs to make dinner, mind you), it was one of those dinners with invited _guests._

And it wasn't just any dinner with invited guests...it was a formal if - I- impress - that - guest - and - his - wife - then - I - will - get - a - raise - or - a - promotion - but - it - will - be - quite - a - challenge - for - me - to - impress - them - because - my - husband - can - be - quite - a - git - at - times kind of dinner.

In short, it was an extremely important dinner for Hermione.

Her hands shook as she muttered to herself around the house.

**Candles**- _Oh wow! It has a vanilla scent too! How relaxing! -check!_

**Dress**-_oh damn...never mind I'll use a cleaning spell on myself after this and then put on that new dress- check!_

**Music**-_ Mmmm...God bless you Tchaikovsky and your Swan Lake- check!_

**Dinner**- _Yum...I can smell the Lobster Newberg from here...hiring the house elves to cook the dinner for tonight was a great idea- check!_

**My husband**- a_lready dressed and reading the paper in the living room- check!_

**My home made creamy chocolate cake**- _wait a minute-_

Hermione headed towards the kitchen. After greeting the house elves warmly, her eyes darted towards the plate of her home made creamy chocolate cake that she made for _four_ hours that morning.

Her heart stopped when she saw that the plate was now empty except for a few crumbs here and there.

She opened her mouth to scream in horror but nothing came out.

Closing her mouth, the witch stalked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Draco," Her voice was surprisingly calm as she faced her husband who was sitting on the soft armchair, his face hidden behind the newspaper "Have you seen the creamy chocolate cake that I baked this morning?"

There was a pregnant pause before the man put his newspaper down, opened his chocolate covered mouth and answered

"No"

**a/n what happens next...well, lets just say that it wasn't pretty... xD**


	3. Chapter 3

Scorpius Malfoy happily played with his muggle toy while his father pushed the trolley. The toddler looked up to see his father wearing a pained expression on his face as he read the list.

Draco Malfoy _hated _muggle shopping. He didn't understand why Hermione didn't just hire some house elf to sort the mundane chores out for them. But nooooooooooooooooo. She kept insisting for him to go out to the muggle world once a month with his son to go buy groceries, just because she said that-

"_It builds character"_ Draco mimicked his wife's words and rolled his eyes. Things he'd do for love.

Meanwhile, Scorpius continued to stare at his father who was starting to mutter to himself and wished that mommy was here with them.  
>Daddy can be quite weird whenever he starts talking to himself.<p>

"Eggs...check" Draco mumbled as he put the carton in the trolley and pushed the trolley forward to the dairy section. He gulped as he went through the foot long grocery list. Again he told himself 'Things I do for love'

Four bottles of milk, two bags of flour, one small bag of sugar, one box of baking soda, three packets of dark chocolate digestives, two large packets of Jalapeno chips (Hey, he was buying the groceries! He deserved a reward!), one bottle of vanilla essence, one big bottle of cooking oil, one bottle of olive oil, two kilograms of chicken, one large packet of instant curry noodles, ten bottles of Scorpius's baby food, one watermelon, two cartons of strawberries, two cans of mixed vegetables, five of each vegetables at the grocery store and one bar of KitKat later, Draco finally finished the grocery shopping and went back home.

Hermione heard her husband set the bags on the kitchen table and got up to greet him. Patting her bulging tummy (she was five months pregnant), she gave her husband a peck on the lips and rummaged through the bags to make sure that he bought_ everything _on the list.

"Did you buy the eggs?"

"Yes I did"

"Did you buy my chocolate digestives?"

"I bought three because I know how much you love them"

"Did you buy Scorpius's baby food?"

"Of course I did. Hermione, I bought every item on the list. Don't worry. I didn't forget anything" Draco assured his wife, not wanting to stress her out , especially when she was pregnant.

The brunette smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you so much for buying the groceries Draco. I'm so proud of you"

Giving him one last smile, she stalked out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

"Inglourious Basterds is playing on TV right now. Bring Scorpius and come and watch it with me" Hermione said over her shoulders.

Draco's eyes widened and he slapped his forehead.

_Oh shit! I forgot Scorpius!_


End file.
